“Can I be a father to my children from a thousand miles away?” “Can a mother nurture a child through internet, SMS, or calls?” “Can we consider OFWs as parents or just merely providers?”
I guess I am not the only one being confronted with these questions. But are there really definite answers for these?
When I left Philippines for Qatar almost eight years ago, I brought a bag with me full of dreams, aspirations and so much optimism, I never realized that it is not as easy as I think it would be. Whenever I see a family dining together in a restaurant, envy creeps in. Whenever I see families walking around the bay area, my heart is being crushed. How I wish I could hug and kiss my children to my heart’s content, how I wish I could listen to them when they are muttering songs, hear them cry, laugh with them and see them asleep every night. These moments are passing by very fast, before you know it they are no longer children. One year away, one month with them, how can you catch up with such a short time?
When my daughter performs in her school, dancing, shouldn’t I be there? To clap and proudly shout; “That’s my girl on the stage.” Who would teach my son on how to tie his shoes? Well at least his mom is there but that should be me, he is my boy. Who would make them a kite? Mom can buy such a simple thing but it’s not about the kite, it’s the bonding moments, the frustrations of not being able to make it fly, figuring how to make it work and the joy on their faces when they finally see this “simple thing” gliding in the sky.
These simple things make up the role of a parent and it is on these moments that a child’s personality is being molded, critical time of their lives and where am I during those times? I am here far away doing what every OFW do best working and remitting money end of every month. If selflessness and self-sacrifice define a hero, I guess OFWs are worthy of being called “Bagong Bayani”.
As for me, no matter what it takes, however which way, I will still try to be a father to my children even a month once every year. I will savor every second (not minute) I am with them even if I have to stay late at night just watching them sleeping and maybe just maybe I can be with them even in their dreams.
Probably the best answer I could come up with is this “OFWs are full time providers and part time parents.” Better be like this than to have all the time in the world with them back home but not being able to provide enough for their needs and for their education.
You, yes you. What will be your answer?
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