Whenever I am alone I can’t help it but to recount past events in my life, asking questions and stupid enough in trying to find answers. Why am I here in a foreign land, totally different culture or should I say mix of cultures? Does my eldest daughter know that I have left them to provide for them?
Will my four year old son still see me as his father? I was able to be with my family last April for a month and I am lucky enough that my boy and I didn’t have any trouble bonding, he has this charming character of being able to deal with strangers, yes I was a stranger to him because I left him when he was only 15 months old and have no memory of me. As for my daughter and even with my wife there was this awkwardness but with much effort I was able to patched up things and my vacation was enough to energize me for yet another year of being away from them.
Will my four year old son still see me as his father? I was able to be with my family last April for a month and I am lucky enough that my boy and I didn’t have any trouble bonding, he has this charming character of being able to deal with strangers, yes I was a stranger to him because I left him when he was only 15 months old and have no memory of me. As for my daughter and even with my wife there was this awkwardness but with much effort I was able to patched up things and my vacation was enough to energize me for yet another year of being away from them.
And on my way back here in Qatar, the night before, I have tried putting into words all the emotions I felt during those last hours before the flight.
“Expat on Board”
my mind is in chaos
emotions in mutiny
I want to freeze time
hold the earth in my palm
stop the sun set
for tomorrow I have to set sail
another year I must bear
leave my beloved
and face life without living
sleep without rest
as the emptiness
will be my cohort
loneliness will be my blanket
strength I seek
to carry on
not for me
but for my love ones
that I will leave behind
Originally published on My Poetry Site
beautiful poem
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